The first time I went to see a doctor about lower back-pain, I was about 26 and had been working in a sit-down job for about a year and a half. I’d noticed some tightening in my lower back, so I booked an appointment with a back specialist to see what was up. I said something to the effect of, “Well, I guess I’m getting older, so I need to start taking care of myself,” which made her laugh. “Sorry,” she said, “but you’re not old”. Technically true. I guess I was trying to verbalize the realization that many of us have had in our 20s, that our bodies will soon hit the point where they just slowly deteriorate and we should do something about that. Anyways, these days, I’m trying to take 10 minutes a day, to stretch my shit out, work on the core a little bit, and keep my back from hurting ALL the time. But sometimes I don’t, which you probably do, too. It’s just one day, right? So I thought I’d go over some of the excuses we tell ourselves for not stretching, and explain why they are all bullshit.
Excuse: “I didn’t have time.”
Response: You totally had time. As noted before, it takes 10 minutes, dummy.
Excuse: “I was drunk, and since alcohol is a muscle relaxer, that relaxed and stretched my muscles for me.”
Response: I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s retarded. Hold on, let me email my doctor and see what he says. Oh, cool. He got right back to me. This is what he said:
“You’re retarded.” – My doctor. From the source.
Excuse: “I went to the gym, so that should cover it, right?”
Response: Well if you didn’t take the time to stretch your legs, back and work your core, it could have actually messed you up. You we’re already working out. Just stretch.
Excuse: “I’m going to yoga tomorrow.”
Response: So tomorrow, you’ll be straight. Today, stretch.
Excuse: I’m soooo tired.
Response: You slouched in a desk chair all day. Get your shit together.
So, that’s it. We’ve all been appropriately shamed into taking better care of ourselves, right?
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Henry Goldman found yr an adult. He is engaging his core as sits RIGHT NOW.
Photo credit: Flickr user Antonio Galati, used under cc license